Alone

Here I sit. Alone. Kevin is at work. James is at my Mom's. I am here slowly cleaning the basement. I have lost my focus so I am taking a break. Heck I might just go to bed after this.

I knew that I would miss James, but man do I miss him. I have already cried a few times. I didn't get to tuck him in and kiss him goodnight. I miss my "squeezie hugs" that he gives me. I miss him crawling into mu lap with books wanting me to read it to him. He has only been there for just a little over 6 hours and I feel lost without him. He won't be back until Sunday afternoon.

I have made my Mom promise to call me if James didn't want to stay. I don't care what time of the day or night it is. Is it sad that I am hoping for a call?

I am sure that he is having fun and being completely spoiled, but I miss the little guy deeply. I keep thinking that I hear him in his room and I have to keep reminding myself that he isn't here. I can safely say that he has my heart for sure.

I have been trying to keep busy, but seem to be failing miserably. Sunday can't come soon enough for me. Am I being selfish feeling this way? Why is it so hard for me to let him spend a few days at his Grandma's? I know that he is safe and being very well taken care of. Heck Kevin and I stopped to get something to eat on the way home and I looked back in his car seat ready to get him out and almost burst into tears. I am sure that you all think I am crazy. I can safely say that I love that little guy more than anything.

Well if you made it this far, thanks. I needed to get it out and the dog just doesn't seem too interested. He is more into sleeping on the couch at the moment.